I am seriously considering throwing my collection of self-improvement and/or motivational books in a bath full of water, because what I actually want to do is burn them but that’s too final and I have to do SOMETHING to them, because those same books say you shouldn’t procrastinate when something needs doing.
If I hadn’t spent time reading all those bloody books, I probably would have burnt them, but I guess I now have evidence that reading the books is worthwhile, for I *dramatic pause* have changed!
I’ve realised that I learn by osmosis because I just dealt with a situation very differently than I would have done a few months ago and I can’t attribute it to a particular book or writer – rather a general shift in my thought processes probably caused by reading a series of books on the same subject from an assortment of authors.
However, now I am dealing with the emotions associated with experiencing a sort of out-of-body experience and the books don’t tell you how to deal with being surprised at yourself when you do something out of character do they? No – they just assume everythings going to be wonderful and you’ll just be happily singing in your own permanent ray of sunshine and making daisy chains to crown yourself with at your self-congratulation ceremony when you’ve achieved whatever you wanted when you bought the book in the first place.
(By way of qualifying the out-of-body experience part, I just want to say I have mentioned my dramatic tendencies in an earlier post, but because of the said books I am starting to be less dramatic in real life and write dramatically about things instead.)
You see, I’ve just mentioned a new project to my dear husband which he wasn’t happy about, and instead of telling him immediately and firmly that I thought he was being an arse and backing it up with chapter and verse on why I thought that, I found myself thinking (without trying and without reference to any particular book) “hmm, this is obviously difficult for him, I’ll have to find another way to deal with this”. This is absolutely not normal for me. Then I just said “Okay” and calmly carried on with what I was doing. It’s taken me about an hour to realise that it was totally out of character and now I’m thinking “WHAT?! What did I just do?”
It’s funny, but I can only assume he didn’t know how to cope with the new me – especially as he is normally the calm sensible one – because even though I was practically angelic in the face of adversity, he stopped speaking to me!
That’s why those bloody books need to get dunked. They tell you how to change, why change is necessary, what will be better when you change and some of them even warn you that people around you might find it difficult to deal with the changes but they don’t tell you how to deal with that part, do they?
So for now, I guess I’ll have to try another self-help tactic and practice gratitude. I’m grateful that he’s gone out (don’t panic, it was planned before our discussion!) and of course I’m extremely grateful that there’s a bottle of chilled wine in the fridge…..